Terminal Illness - C3O Short

For the discussion of anything related to zombies which has nothing to do with Binary Space's games
coinsruledude
Posts: 14906
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:36 pm
Location: Restricted

Re: Terminal Illness - C3O Short

Postby coinsruledude » Mon Jan 13, 2014 12:01 pm

Smerg wrote:Well, when you got the entirety of the RP comprised into a single document, I'd actually like to download it and keep it stored for me to read one day when I get around to it, if that isn't too much to ask.
It's not just "an RP" anymore, it's "two RPs, two massive 'shorts' (four if you count tyrud's and ghost's), and a collection of actual short stories".
"You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge." ~Karl Pilkington
"**** it, it's late. Change it later." ~Me and Teddy

coinsruledude
Posts: 14906
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:36 pm
Location: Restricted

Re: Terminal Illness - C3O Short

Postby coinsruledude » Wed Jul 23, 2014 6:13 am

I re-wrote the ending of Terminal Illness because I was bored. Since he plays a role in Lingering Nightmare, I added a semi-detailed scene of how Wade split from Jhonny.

---------------

[January 28th, 2013 – 10:08 AM]

Wade peeked out between the drawn curtains of the mission in an attempt to see whether or not Jeff, who was working with a small team of militia members, was returning. Seeing nothing, he let the curtain fall back into place and retreated away from the window. Out on the street, several gunshots went off as other civilians rioted outside. A week before, a massive fire tore through the safe zone’s food storage house, completely destroying most of the food supply. The several religious groups in Salina started to blame each other for the disaster, despite the fact that the incident wasn’t proven to be arson. The infighting overtook the civilian population, and eventually the militia had to instate martial law in order to keep order. Unfortunately, the militia’s actions only intensified the resentment felt by the civilian groups, and the safe zone descended into total anarchy just before dusk.

“We need to go now.” Wade said. Jhonny was sprawled out on the leather couch while Saul was nervously pacing behind him. Church was sitting on one of the wooden chairs, loading bullets into a magazine for her pistol.
“Y-Yeah, we gotta go,” Saul concurred. The entire situation was stressing him to his breaking point, and he wanted nothing more than to leave Salina as soon as possible to avoid any further destruction to their group. “I don’t think Jeff is coming back if he hasn’t made it back yet. He probably got caught in the fighting, or worse.”
“I told you, I’m not leaving without Jeff,” Church stated. “He’s a part of our group, and we aren’t leaving him to die here. He knows where we’ll be, which is right here where it’s safe.”
“We’re safe until a stray Molotov burns this place to the ground,” Wade said, tightening his grip on his compound bow. “Everyone who isn’t rioting already left earlier this morning, or they’re stuck in fighting or hiding like us! We need to go with Bert and Emory.”

“I told you right after her broadcast, I’m not ****’ going with them to Cuba,” Jhonny said. He was flicking the striker on his lighting repeatedly, which sent a flash of light in the dark room every couple of seconds. “It’ll be impossible to get there without a boat and a crew.”
“It’s only ninety miles away from Florida,” Saul argued. “We go down south, find a sailboat or something in Florida, and we’ll wash up on the island in a few hours. Right? It’s not like we’re sailing across an ocean.”
“Exactly. It’s our best chance to get off the mainland.” Wade said.
“What if Cuba doesn’t want us?” Church demanded.
“They won’t have much of a choice if we wash up on a beach-“ Wade began.
“Then they would just shoot us! They’ll shoot us out of the water before we get within a mile of the coast!” Jhonny said angrily.
“Jhonny, shut the **** up for ten seconds!” Wade yelled. He turned back to Church. “If we land on Cuba at night, no one will suspect anything. We’ll slip into the slums or something.”
“Why don’t we go to Amarillo first?” Church inquired. “It’s closer and it’s the only place that’s held out nearby. They’re doing something right.”
“Too many Last Judgment, too many cartel people. Texas will be fucked.”
“So is the East Coast!” Jhonny yelled. “The South will be crawling with red stripes all over the place.”

A small explosion outside caused everyone to tense up for a minute before they started arguing again. “Bert offered all of us a ride to the zoo where Emory and his kids are, and they’re all set on going to Cuba. If we want to go with them, we need to meet up with them. Now! Jeff is on his own for this one. He knows where we’re meeting up; we’ll wait for him there.” Wade said. He had been prepared to leave for hours, but Church pressured him to stay until Jeff returned.
“He won’t be able to walk out of the city without people shooting at him,” Church said. “The rioters are blocking the city gates! He’d have to climb over the border wall, and tree trunks aren’t easy to jump over like chain link.”
“Wade, get this through your head: no one wants to leave yet,” Jhonny said. “Sit the **** down!”
“**** you. Saul wants to leave too.”
“Then go!” Jhonny said, standing up. “No one will stop you! All you do is **** and complain and act like you have authority somewhere! You don’t!”
“Look who’s **** talking,” Wade growled back. “You don’t do **** except sit on your **** and stuff your fat face with our hard-earned food!”

Jhonny yelled and charged Wade, throwing him to the ground with a tackle. He started hitting Wade in the head and neck with his fist, but Wade pushed him away. Before he could stand up, Jhonny kicked him in the ribs twice, knocking the wind out of him.
“For ****’s sake, Jhonny, stop!” Church yelled. Standing up from her chair, she struggled to hold Jhonny back. Saul helped her, and eventually they got him to calm down a little. They heard the sound of something reverberating from across the room, and a split second later there was an arrow in Jhonny’s shoulder, fired from Wade’s bow. Wade had what promised to be a black eye, and he was in the process of pulling the string back on his bow again, an arrow between his fingers. “I’m going to **** kill you, you son of a bitch-“
Church immediately ran at Wade and grabbed the carbon-fiber bow before he could fire it. The two started struggling over the weapon, until eventually Wade wrenched the bow away from Church. In response, she pointed her M1911 at him.
“If you want to leave, leave!” she yelled, pointing at the door. “You don’t shoot your own group! Saul, if you’re going with him, you go too! Both of you get the **** out!” Wade slowly backed up towards the door, with a look of contempt on his face. Saul followed him hesitantly after apologizing to Church and Jhonny, the latter of whom sat back on the couch, clutching his shoulder and cringing in pain.

~

“Everybody out of the building!” Jeff yelled, covering his mouth to avoid inhaling the toxic fumes from the burning building that he was standing in. He ran out of the living room of a two-story house, followed closely by two militia members. They ran outside just in time to see an MTVR truck loaded with fleeing civilians ram full-speed into Salina’s main gate. The grill of the truck was sturdy enough to smash open the metal, and the vehicle continued out of the safe zone, leaving a gaping hole in the supposedly-secure border wall. A few zombies that had been aimlessly wandering outside the city started to wander inside the breech, further adding to the chaos. Jeff split off from his militia partners and ran to the mayor’s office only to find smoke issuing from its smashed windows and graffiti plastering the outside walls: “SALVATION CAN ONLY BE FOUND IN THE LORD”, “DIVINITY IS AN ILLUSION”, and “IT’S ALL OVER”. Jeff changed direction and ran down the street towards the mission, where he assumed the other members of his group would be. He witnessed a group of civilian protesters scatter in order to avoid an oncoming military Humvee that was screaming down the street.

“Open the door!” Jeff shouted, banging on the mission’s front door. “It’s Jeff! Hello? Saul? Church?”

The door slowly opened, and Jeff ran inside. He immediately saw Jhonny, who was sitting in an armchair with an arrow lodged in his shoulder. Church slammed the door behind Jeff and went back to Jhonny, examining his wound.
“Where is everybody?” Jeff asked, looking around. The mission was empty, except for a few backpacks sitting next to the chair Jhonny was seated in.
“Emory is fleeing,” Church said. “He left for Cuba already. Saul and Wade are going with Bert to catch up with them.”
“Did Wade shoot you?” Jeff asked Jhonny.
“What do you think?” Jhonny asked, his voice strained. “I tried to tell him Cuba is a bad idea and he shot me.”
“Don't get me wrong. I think Cuba's a bad idea too, but you were being an **** too,” Church commented. “Is the hospital still functioning, Jeff?”
“Barely,” Jeff said. “We need to leave. The militia collapsed and the walls are basically crumbling down.”
"Get him to the hospital," Church said, rushing to the door. "I'll go find a car."
"Be careful."
“I'll meet you there, don't worry”

[10:17 AM]

"This is ****' bullshit," Jhonny groaned, as a doctor grabbed the shaft of the arrow. "Bullshit."
"Sorry, I don't have any anesthetic on hand," the doctor said, swiftly pulling the bullet-shaped arrowhead out of his shoulder. Jhonny was sitting in a chair in one of the hospital's hallways; the building was jammed to capacity, and more and more people were showing up looking for treatment every minute. "We're basically running on human decency at this point. Everyone's going crazy...here, bandage that up when you get the chance. I have to go."
The doctor handed a roll of bandages to Jeff and disappeared down the hallway, amid shout and cries for help from nearby patients. Jhonny quickly wrapped his own shoulder in the gauze and put his white T-shirt back on. "Let's go find Church before she ****' leaves without us."
"I doubt she will," Jeff said, handing Jhonny one of the backpacks he took the mission. "We have all the food. Can you wear that with your shoulder?"
"Yeah," Jhonny said, shouldering the bag and hefting his Sig Sauer. "It didn't go in that deep…****’ Wade." The two men pushed their way through the hospital's corridors, until they got to the main doors and exited the crowded building. Outside was no better; people with guns were giving orders to other people with guns, and it looks like the hospital was about to be looted.
“Where the **** is she? She said she would meet us here.” Jhonny said impatiently.
“She’s probably stuck in the riot traffic.” Jeff replied. Seconds later, a black Hyundai Accent turned the corner down the street and pulled up to them. Church was behind the wheel.

"Isn’t this Bert’s car?” Jeff asked. “The one you and Dalton took to Utah?”
“Yeah. I didn’t see anyone at his house so I hotwired it. Not much gas in the tank, but it'll get us out of the city at least." she said. Jeff and Jhonny climbed into the car, and Church stepped on the accelerator.

"Where am I going?"
"I watched the main gate get broken down by a truck a few minutes ago, so that's probably the easiest way out. Other than that, I have no idea."
"Amarillo, probably. Unless you have a ****’ problem with Texas too, Jeff. Wade did."
"We'll try there, but I doubt it’s that safe with the Last Judgment and cartels fighting in Texas, right? I don’t want to get near groups as dangerous as them."
"I mean, it’s the closest option we have. Might as well try. If not, we’ll figure something out."
"You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge." ~Karl Pilkington
"**** it, it's late. Change it later." ~Me and Teddy

coinsruledude
Posts: 14906
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:36 pm
Location: Restricted

Re: Terminal Illness - C3O Short

Postby coinsruledude » Sat Oct 04, 2014 9:50 pm

I was reading a little of Terminal Illness and I realized that, no matter how hard I tried to make him the good guy, Reeves was a complete ****, lol.

-After Sierra was gone, Reeves didn't let the safe zone run like it had before she took over. He strengthened the military's presence throughout the Island and disbanded the civilian police department, meaning he basically militarized the place.
-He bribed Wade with a suitcase full of drugs, which was technically Wade's property to begin with.
-He ordered his men to mortar a crowd of near-harmless refugees.
-He made ration cuts that he knew would make the population angry, but he did it anyway.
-During the cartel's invasion of the Island, Reeves never left Drumheller II until after the threat was eliminated. He stayed on board, safely avoiding all fighting and danger to his own life while letting the rest of the safe zone fend for itself.
-He knew that the fuel he was trading to the Last Judgment was being used to kill people in the turf war with the cartel. He didn't care, though; Reeves exploited the gang for supplies at the price of many lives.
-Reeves liberated Jeff from Onyx's squad purely to get information about the Last Judgment. He didn't actually care about Jeff's life.
-During his speech before the election, Reeves clearly lied to the population to sway the vote in his favor. He claimed that the looting parties had to scavenge as far as Colorado and were only finding scraps, but in reality, Jhonny and the group returned from Durango with crates and crates of supplies. Also, during the speech he had a woman who publicly spoke in support of Sierra arrested on the spot.
-There's no evidence for it aside from subtle hints, but Reeves could have easily manipulated the Island's election. For example, not only was Church one of the people tasked with watching voters so they followed the rules when voting, but she was also insanely biased towards Reeves. She could have easily been put up to monitoring the election by Reeves so she and other soldiers in support of him could spike the vote.
-After winning the election, he tried to disband the one union on the Island that represented civilian interests. When that didn't work, he hired a hitman to kill the leader of the union (and his biggest political rival) so it would collapse on its own.
-He had several men (Dalton's looting party) arrested for "conspiracy and treason", even though the only crime they committed was ferrying messages between two of his rivals (Sierra and Clayton).

ALL IN ALL A ****
"You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge." ~Karl Pilkington
"**** it, it's late. Change it later." ~Me and Teddy

tyrud
Posts: 8775
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:33 am
Location: Flipping All Your Tables

Re: Terminal Illness - C3O Short

Postby tyrud » Sat Oct 04, 2014 10:01 pm

Not the best guy, sure, but probably preferable to Sierra in most ways.
"Humankind cannot bear very much reality." ~ T. S. Eliot
(⌐■_■)

coinsruledude
Posts: 14906
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:36 pm
Location: Restricted

Re: Terminal Illness - C3O Short

Postby coinsruledude » Sat Oct 04, 2014 10:11 pm

Yeah, compared to Sierra he was the right choice.
Compared to Lundstrom? Weeelll...
"You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge." ~Karl Pilkington
"**** it, it's late. Change it later." ~Me and Teddy

coinsruledude
Posts: 14906
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:36 pm
Location: Restricted

Re: Terminal Illness - C3O Short

Postby coinsruledude » Thu Apr 02, 2015 12:54 am

*editing Terminal Illness a little bit*
*learns that Cosson Hall, the Naval barracks building turned Sierra's command center, has been abandoned for decades*

Image

Still a cool-looking building, though. Just not habitable.

Image
Image
"You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge." ~Karl Pilkington
"**** it, it's late. Change it later." ~Me and Teddy

coinsruledude
Posts: 14906
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:36 pm
Location: Restricted

Re: Terminal Illness - C3O Short

Postby coinsruledude » Sun Apr 26, 2015 12:58 am

I've been thinking a lot about rewriting stuff, and since I can't in the original RP, I changed the story of Terminal Illness a bit:

-Flesh out the beginning WAAAY more; Jhonny gets captured and Sierra takes over the Island within a day and a half of the group arriving, which is completely stupid, so it'll be more of a slow build-up of uneasiness until Sierra makes her move
-Avis and Malinda no longer exist in order to make room for more important **** (Wedge also might get cut, it depends)
-Church takes Avis' place on Alcatraz (both when Jhonny initially breaks out and when they return to rescue Lance/Reeves), so she exists for a reason instead of "hey meet this random chick, isn't she cool"; also gives the opportunity to introduce her in a better way
-Church isn't a "demolition expert" (I mean what the **** even) and doesn't act like a solider as much; she's just a random civilian-in-uniform who happens to get involved with Jhonny
-I'm either going to delete the trip Church and Dalton went on to Salt Lake City or expand on it a shitload, haven't decided which

Does all of this sound alright?
"You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge." ~Karl Pilkington
"**** it, it's late. Change it later." ~Me and Teddy

tyrud
Posts: 8775
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 12:33 am
Location: Flipping All Your Tables

Re: Terminal Illness - C3O Short

Postby tyrud » Sun Apr 26, 2015 3:53 pm

Everything seems sensible to me. I would've left in the twins, or at least Avis to give Jhonny a love interest, but considering the kind of character he is during Terminal Illness, it doesn't seem all that necessary to give him one.
"Humankind cannot bear very much reality." ~ T. S. Eliot
(⌐■_■)

TheTeddyguy
Posts: 14688
Joined: Sun Jul 24, 2011 4:03 am
Location: Writin' or Jeepin'.

Re: Terminal Illness - C3O Short

Postby TheTeddyguy » Sun Apr 26, 2015 3:57 pm

I would further develop Wedge rather than remove him myself, other than that no real disagreements.
"**** it, it's late."-Coins "Change it later."-Teddy
"She had a face like a bulldog licking **** off a nettle."-Jingles
"so he resigned himself to dying in a trash can."

coinsruledude
Posts: 14906
Joined: Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:36 pm
Location: Restricted

Re: Terminal Illness - C3O Short

Postby coinsruledude » Sun Apr 26, 2015 4:31 pm

Wedge only existed because of the "super ultra demolition squad fun time" background Church had. If she's just a civilian-in-uniform, he has no reason to exist. With that being said, I might make him a normal soldier or guard so he isn't totally gone.

Also, tyrud, you said that exact same thing a year or two ago while I was writing Terminal Illness, lol. "You know Jhonny should have a love interest but he shouldn't though"
"You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge." ~Karl Pilkington
"**** it, it's late. Change it later." ~Me and Teddy


Return to “All things Zombie”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 2 guests